6 am

It is 6 am,

Morning traffic, a cat, and solitude.

My apartment is filled with car noise, drinking coffee in bed, writing, and reading,

It is a workday morning,

Knowing that next is getting dressed,

A fast hair wash and check email,

Then away to work.

 

Will this change,

And do I want it to be different,

I enjoy the aloneness,

The coffee for one,

The farting loudly and carelessly,

Snorting out loud at nothing,

Like a cat batting at ghost bugs.

 

 

Do I want you next to me?

Do I want your leg all copper furry and long across my quilt,

All biked-up muscle and vine to tie me up,

Keeping me twined up around you,

Drinking your green eyes, not coffee,

Fuck the coffee.

 

I am afraid to find you next to me,

Afraid of all the wonder and terror and possibilities,

Afraid of your sharp smell, your tiny-fingered touch, and your heart,

Afraid of what it would be like to have all that here, and then gone,

Forever.

 

It is now 7:30 am,

I get up to check my email,

And find a note from you,

All hugs and kisses and nicknames,

All let’s get together and sweet,

I cry from wanting,

You, it is you that I want sometimes.

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About Avery Cassell

Avery Cassell is a genderqueer San Francisco writer, poet, cartoonist, and artist who grew up in Iran. They live with their Maine Coon cat, Lulu, and bake yeasted waffles every Sunday morning. Behrouz Gets Lucky is their first novel. You can find their erotic short stories sprinkled in various anthologies, including Best Lesbian Erotica 2015 and Sex Still Spoken Here. Avery is currently working on a book of more of Behrouz and Lucky's shenanigans, a memoir, and an illustrated early reader children's book about a eight year old transgender boy and his family.
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3 Responses to 6 am

  1. artpredator says:

    i like how this starts in the mundane, then builds. love the third stanza–Fuck the coffee. (!)

    Like

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