What I Want


You are making wings on my back,
The spread of the sound of the force so hard,
And I can’t really think at all,
I love my flesh being molded by you,
Then the whole of you laying on me,
Spit first — so it is your mouth your belly,
Like a cloak of you, an animal,
Giving birth to bruises.

The gaze exchanged when you hurt me,
We visit a shared country,
A map to us,
I look and I look,
We look together.

Will your hand fit in my cunt?
Will each tentacle finger wiggle?
You twist and torque as you burrow into me,
And I am fucking you,
As you are fucking me,
I feel waves and ocean and periwinkle inside of me,
Constantly, we look and look.

The smell of you,
I am always sniffing my way,
I’m a rat or a dog needing to mesmerize my path home,
Your hair a tickling snort,
Your armpit desire settling into my throat,
Your cunt a wet so hard I want to cry.

A long smooth cut,
And I breathe it open,
A star — it is light,
Shine me with blood,
Like a lucky penny.

I want to be bent over,
Like a sailor,
And fucked.
Is that concise enough?
Maybe too concise;
Slow, then fast,
And almost out – wait a second — then brutally in,
Fuck me into another universe.
Please.

And you are the ass of my dreams,
With your spread of white skin,
Waiting – and yes I want you,
Tell me how big, how fast, how deep,
Suddenly I am nervous, a girl with worries,
That I will be clumsy and awkward,
When all I want is to throw myself into you.

There are things I want,
An airway of whooshing I cannot stop,
The country of our skin,
Our kisses and the sliding over of bodies,
One into the other,
Geography changes.

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About Avery Cassell

Avery Cassell is a genderqueer San Francisco writer, poet, cartoonist, and artist who grew up in Iran. They live with their Maine Coon cat, Lulu, and bake yeasted waffles every Sunday morning. Behrouz Gets Lucky is their first novel. You can find their erotic short stories sprinkled in various anthologies, including Best Lesbian Erotica 2015 and Sex Still Spoken Here. Avery is currently working on a book of more of Behrouz and Lucky's shenanigans, a memoir, and an illustrated early reader children's book about a eight year old transgender boy and his family.
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