The Mindless Loop of My Heart

I wish the mindless loop of my heart,
Would soar to another place,
Some muscled county with knotty strength,
A country protected with iron shields and rock castles.

Instead, I wander the worried tundra,
Horned beasts slipping past – ghostly,
Field mice scattered like leaves over my feet,
I lope through yellow trampled grasses,
Careful not to look too far into the past or future.

If I could gather fortunes,
I’d slide each omen into my pocket,
Prophecies leaking like blood,
Oozing from this circle of slits,
A pouch of happiness is all I wanted.

My heart is uneasy with this distant rustling,
This quick stillness that could be a storm,
Or maybe just an hour of nothingness,
The feel of ozone rains on my tongue.
A stiff piercing jolt of what-the-fuck,
Runs through me, I stumble.


About Avery Cassell

Avery Cassell is a genderqueer San Francisco writer, poet, cartoonist, and artist who grew up in Iran. They live with their Maine Coon cat, Lulu, and bake yeasted waffles every Sunday morning. Behrouz Gets Lucky is their first novel. You can find their erotic short stories sprinkled in various anthologies, including Best Lesbian Erotica 2015 and Sex Still Spoken Here. Avery is currently working on a book of more of Behrouz and Lucky's shenanigans, a memoir, and an illustrated early reader children's book about a eight year old transgender boy and his family.
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One Response to The Mindless Loop of My Heart

  1. poeticgrin says:

    I did not expect the lines “A stiff piercing jolt of what-the-fuck,/Runs through me, I stumble.” And I loved them. :)

    Good poem!


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