Soft


A thread of insincerity floats to the ground,
A soft blue sparkling thirty inches of mohair,
A cat toy or a half a fringe or something else,
Stretched from door jamb to door jamb,
Iron tacks holding it taunt – and I trip.
Getting my ankles tangled up in starlight and night,
My knees stained blue and silver from kneeling at your boots,
Palms flat on the rug,
I look up to see you rise,
Your body scrolling up from that length of lies,
Tendons and bones slipping through each filament,
Weaving together to form a wisp of a ghost,
Plaiting to create a you that I hardly recognize.
I trip and I fall again and again and again,
How many times can I bruise my knees on you,
Stuffing a skein of blue mohair into my mouth,
Your disingenuousness is a handful of prickly threads,
Drool dribbling down the sides of my lips,
Knocking my head against your phantom boot.
There is something about this that I love,
Is it the abject position or the secrets?
A pushing into some dangerous country of the heart?
I am comforted by how we excavate our thoughts,
Each sentence containing gullies of truth and deceit,
Feeling used as I lay on the harsh wool,
Exhausted and my cheeks tear-stained,
It is like I came 10,000 times,
But it wasn’t until you slapped me that I was done.

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About Avery Cassell

Avery Cassell is a genderqueer San Francisco writer, poet, cartoonist, and artist who grew up in Iran. They live with their Maine Coon cat, Lulu, and bake yeasted waffles every Sunday morning. Behrouz Gets Lucky is their first novel. You can find their erotic short stories sprinkled in various anthologies, including Best Lesbian Erotica 2015 and Sex Still Spoken Here. Avery is currently working on a book of more of Behrouz and Lucky's shenanigans, a memoir, and an illustrated early reader children's book about a eight year old transgender boy and his family.
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