Come for the Butches, Stay for the Art: Butch Art Show!

art showArt show! Butches! Art! Wine! Femmes! Queer artists! Come for the butches…stay for the art. Butch Lesbians of the 20s, 30s, and 40s Coloring Book is having a show at Mermaids Tattoo, 3032 Mission St, San Francisco, CA 94111. Join us Sunday, June 18th from 4pm to 7 pm at Mermaids Tattoo for an art show and book launch. Flag dark green if so inclined (after all, it is Daddy’s Day)

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Pre-order Yr’ Butches Today!

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Now available for preorder from Stacked Deck Press for a Prideful June delivery!

Butch Lesbians of the 20s, 30s, and 40s Coloring Book is lovingly illustrated by a motley, caffeinated amazingly talented crew of queer as fuck artists including Robyn Adams, Tara Madison Avery, JessicaRenee BogacMoore, Paige Braddock, Jennifer Camper, Avery Cassell, Tyler Cohen, Dylan Edwards, Katie Gilmartin, Roberta Gregory, Janet Hardy, Dorian Katz, Maia Kobabe, Jon Macy, Ajuan Mance, Alix Quay, Rome, Sina Sparrow, Sonya Saturday, and our talented butch wordsmith, Sasha T. Goldberg!

The coloring book pages are packed with more courageous, adventurous, and hot butches than you can shake a hanky at…mathematicians, directors, painters, writers, adventurers, activists and more.

Our cover butch is Frieda Belinfante, a member of the Dutch Resistance during World War II, a fitting hero and role model for today’s political and cultural climate. Cover drawn by Avery Cassell and colored by Jon Macy. Butch Lesbians of the 20s, 30s, and 40s Coloring Book edited by Jon Macy and Avery Garland Cassell.

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Hierarchy of Lust

sunriseI don’t usually analyze sexual desire. I figure it is what it is in all its primal and instinctual glory…however I was plodding along at work and found myself thinking about my hierarchy of lust and love, and the annoying complexity of fucking after age 60.

At this point in my life, sex and love are intertwined. My ability and interest in fucking outside of a romantic relationship has lessened, and I’ve talked to enough people over the age of 50 to know that this change is be common for many people. I find it frustrating, but only in the sense that I sometimes long for a lover the way that I long for a pizza to be delivered to my apartment; someone to magically appear, give me hot greasy pleasure, then disappear until the next time I call up for a delivery.

I’m not celibate, however only my lover is myself.  I can fuck myself fine. Could that be engraved upon my headstone, eventually partially obscured by soft green moss? “They could fuck themselves fine.”, maybe in a glamorously old-fashioned Celtic font. It’s true though. As I’ve gotten older, I’ve become a more inventive and a greedier lover, and what is masturbation but fucking oneself? Joani Blank wrote I Am My Lover: Women Pleasure Themselves in 1997. It was revolutionary at the time, and remains a radical statement about self-pleasure twenty years later. I’ve developed a deeper appreciation for the handsomeness of my body; I love my soft belly, the smooth wet inside of my asshole, my tufts of underarm hair, my freckled breasts with their greedy sensitive nipples. I continue to evolve with how I fuck myself, trying new methods, new toys. I’ve acquired more sex toys, and I acknowledge the importance of pleasure in my life by purchasing higher quality toys and more frequently. If I think well enough of myself to eat organic vegetables, then surely I should spring for the hefty njoy Eleven, a collection of fine silicone dildos, a rubber slapper, a stainless steel butt plug, adjustable nipple clamps. I try out new toys with abandon.

I’m trying to say that I have experience negotiating with myself, but I’m reexamining my hierarchy of lust and love with lovers.  If my choice was a vanilla butch or a kinky femme, I’d go with the kinky femme, even though I’m much more attracted to butches. For me, kink trumps gender presentation.

I realized that kink was a necessity when I was in my early 30s; I was fucking a wonderful man. He was an artist, smart, quirky, a feminist, kind, and an ardent lover. An extremely ardent vanilla lover. We started seeing one another in the summer and continued until winter started. We fucked almost exclusively outdoors, and that was kinky enough to keep me interested until it got cold and snowy, and we moved into the bedroom by necessity. He tried valiantly to hit me and boss me around, but he wasn’t a sadist or particularly domineering so it didn’t quite gel. A tepid sadist is not an effective sadist. I hated breaking up with him, but that was the moment when I knew that I could not compromise around kink. I’d started out kinky at age 12, and I needed kink to be part of my sex life with any future long term lover…and with myself.

I then pushed myself further with the hierarchy of lust and love, what if the choice was a kinky male and a vanilla woman? I got bogged down. Is this one of those questions that remain unanswered until an actual person asks it?  It’s been over 10 years since I’ve fucked a man; in general, I’ve never found men as aesthetically, emotionally, or romantically compelling as women. This feels like a thorny discussion and a little undecided, however I like the fact that changes continue as I get older.

What does your hierarchy of lust and love look like? Has it changed over the years? Have any of those changes surprised you? Have you acted upon those changes? If not, why not? At 62, lust and love continues to delight and surprise me.

 

 

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Butches, Inking, and David Bowie

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It’s a gorgeous Sunday spring afternoon in San Francisco; sunny, 58 degrees and breezy. The trees beneath my window are covered in pink blossoms, and I have a salmon fillet marinating in mustard, balsamic vinegar, and maple syrup ready to cook for dinner. I have the window open, David Bowie is cranked up, and I’m finishing inking Jackie Bross and her lover Catherine Barscz (circa 1943) for the Butch Lesbians of the 20s, 30s, and 40s Coloring Book (Stacked Deck Press) 

Now available to pre-order for delivery in June!

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Perverts Put Out! Mayday Edition

Perverts Put Out! Mayday Edition
Come dance around the Maypole! Join us for a spirited, smutty response to the state of emergency we all find ourselves in. Just days before the traditional worker’s holiday and a national day of resistance, Avery Cassell, Jen Cross, Gina de Vries, Juba Kalamka, Cherry Terror, Na’amen Tilahun, and special musical guest Princess Cream Pie, will mash-up porn, politics, and spring, co-hosted by Dr. Carol Queen and Simon Sheppard.
Saturday, April 29, 2017
Center for Sex & Culture
1369 Mission Street
San Francisco, CA.
Doors open at 7:00 and show at 8:00 pm

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